tv The Late Show With Stephen Colbert CBS June 2, 2016 11:35pm-12:38am EDT
hey! hey, everybody! ( cheers and applause ) hey, dudes. what's up, dudes? that's right! welcome to the "late show," everybody. thanks so much. yeah! welcome to the "late show." i'm your host, stephen colbert. ( cheers and applause ) something about you makes you seem very attractive to me right now... ( laughter ) now, i don't know if you guys are anglophiles or anything, but if you are, if you are into england, it's queen elizabeth's birthday today. ( cheers and applause ) she is turning ninety years old. she is the first queen to ever reach that age. there would have been others,
hit it, boys. >> stephen: surprise, your majesty! i got you a stripper! ( applause ) wait, that's all you're taking off? >> we're english. we're very conservative. ( laughter ) >> stephen: i'm sorry, your majesty, i thought he was going to show you his bangers and mash. i-- i don't know what-- i don't know what-- i don't know. i tell you what, i also got you a television show. but first, let's say hi to jon batiste and stay human, everybody. ( applause ) ( band playing ) ( cheers and applause )
now before we get started, i just want to take a moment, in case the people in here don't know and haven't heard the sad news-- today the world lost a great artist. prince passed away today at his home in minnesota. i know, it was a shocking-- shocking and sad news. and i have been a fan since i was in high school. i remember a guy in my choir, skipper graham, brought in the very first prince album into our choir room. and we-- you know, there were so many things to love about it. one of it was obviously the music was so powerful. and also we had to wear the head phones so the adults could not hear the lyrics to any of the songs. ( laughter ) but of course as sad as i am, i was just a fan. but jon, i understand that you and some of the other artists over there actually got a chance to work with prince, which must have been a tremendous honor. do you have any memories of him you would like to share?
>> jon: yeah, he had-- he had a huge aura, his energy and presence in a room just kind of filled everybody's heart. you know, he had a certain kind of way of being aware of what was going on. i remember one time we were back stage and i was talking to him. and without even looking in the direction, just pointing his finger, he says "courtesy." and then you look over, there's five people over there, you don't know what he is talking about. and then you turn, and there was a cat with his phone, filming our conversation. and he figured out through all that was going on backstage, musicians playing, everything happening, you know, "courtesy. put the phone away." then he said "down." cat put it down. "in your pocket." he put it in his pocket. "thank you very much. okay, jon, so how are you?" >> stephen: wow, total awareness of what was going on him. >> jon: his energy. >> stephen: besides being a beautiful artist, not many people are as influential enough
to be known by one name, let alone by one color. but he was. so in a small gesture of respect tonight we would like to change the set in his honor. ( applause ) ( cheers and applause ) well, if you're following the news, you know that the 2016 republican primary toboggan ride is rapidly approaching the oak tree of their summer convention. ( laughter ) and if you think that you're worried about what is going to happen in this race, just consider reince priebus, r.n.c. chairman and man whose name is an anagram for crisp bee urine. ( laughter ) reince-- reince is in a really
tough spot right now. as his party approaches a contested convention, it appears to be going up in flames. as he told reporters yesterday, "sometimes you can't fix it. sometimes you can just take a seven-alarm fire and make it a four-alarm fire. it's still burning but not as bad as it was." ( applause ) okay, okay, very happy. not as bad as it was? reince, you understand how fire departments work, right? you're not allowed to leave and say hey, "i think we put a dent in it. good luck." but don't worry, priebus insists everything's fine. >> you are the man in the middle. they're saying, "it's all your fault." >> i mean, so, i'm so used to it that i don't-- i don't even care. it doesn't bother me. >> you're not pulling out your hair. >> not-- no, i'm not. >> stephen: no! he's not pulling out his hair.
it is fleeing of its own accord. ( laughter ) ( applause ) we're out of here! but really, really, he's good. >> people assume "oh, you must be miserable. you have a horrible job." but i don't see it that way. i'm not pouring baileys in my cereal. i'm not sitting here trying to find the johnny walker. i mean, this is fun. >> stephen: yeah, it's fun. ( laughter ) "this is, this is fun, right? how many more months of fun do i have? six, oh great, yay." though i have to say, mr. priebus, uh, uh, "i'm not pouring baileys on my cereal" is a very specific reference for something-- ( applause )
for something you are not doing, sir. methinks he doth priebus too much. and here's the thing, we care about you, reince priebus. i need to know about any other very specific things you're not doing. for example, please tell me you're not using jagermeister as a salad dressing. that you're not huffing ether out of a scooby-doo gym sock. that you're definitely not soaking swisher sweets and gasoline and wrapping them in bacon and then-- ( laughs ) that you're not-- keep going. ( cheers and applause ) i really, i really need to know that you're not doing rumpleminz body shots off an unemployed mall santa. now, now if you will excuse me right now, in honor of reince priebus--
( cheers and applause ) i am going to treat myself-- i'm going to treat myself to a little bailey's on my lucky charms. mmm, mmm, mmm. or as i like to call it, an irish continental breakfast. ( cheers and applause ) ( band playing ) ( laughter ) please tell me other people could hear that drumming? ( laughter ) it might just be the lucky charms and bailey combination going straight to my medula
oblongata, because i could eat this whole ( bleep ) right now. we'll be right back with tom hanks. ( applause ) world saleilton is on honors members save up to 25% on brands like hampton, doubletree, hilton garden inn, and waldorf astoria so stop clicking around. book direct at hilton.com now that's satisfaction. ♪ ♪ ♪ take on the unexpected with a car that could stop for you.
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>> thank you so much. thank you. this is great. >> stephen: look at that. >> that's lovely. but seriously, good night sweet prince, may flights of angels sing thee to thy rest. it's a tough day, tough day. >> stephen: sad and shocking. >> if-- i'm going to be 60 this summer. ( cheers and applause ) you know, 60 is the new 58. i don't know if anybody has told you that. but i saw prince on either "don kirschner's rock concert" or "the midnight special," remember those horrible music shows? >> stephen: fantastic. >> and he was a young guy and i said "who is this grand funk- miester that's going to take us to the revolution?" it was-- you know, it's like, i'm sitting at my dad and my
step mother's house, and i'm just trying to stay up late, just, you know, because that's the only truly controversial thing can i do. because i'm such a ( bleep ), you know, "i'm staying up until 1:30 tonight. and i don't care who knows." and "don kershner's rock concert," only the other pale imitator, the midnight special came on. >> stephen: what about wolfman jack? >> well, oh, i guess he did come out every now and again! >> stephen: yeah, yeah, exactly. >> "let's hear it for prince." and then he came out and-- it is not often that you watch tv and you think, "this is a brand new thing." because he was really funky in the late '70s, am i wrong? it was like-- it was like finally someone cracked rick james' code. he took it and elevated it to this other-- and that was just the beginning of decades of that. and now he's gone, and god bless him, we're going to miss him. ( applause ) not that it has me pouring baileys in my lucky charms.
i mean, i, well, we're-- >> stephen: i have some lucky charms and some baileys. would you like-- ? >> well, how about you share that with your guests, ( bleep )? come on. let's break it on out. ( cheers and applause ) what i love is, i love the st. patty's day theme to this. >> stephen: we're a little late for the st. patty's day parade. >> first of all, these are the scariest colors found in nature. i don't know what these little-- >> stephen: give it a shot. ( applause ) >> the truth is, for a 60-year- old man with type 2 diabetes, this is-- this is-- >> stephen: this is a cry for help. ( laughter ) >> not exactly the breakfast of champions. man, oh, man. >> stephen: not bad, huh? ( cheers and applause )
>> you know, after having a bite of that, i think i'm changing my political affiliation. and i'm going to vote republican every chance i get. because they're having such a great time! wow. >> stephen: well, they're going to be-- they're going to be-- serving this at the convention as part of the suicide pact. ( cheers and applause ) now we've got to talk about your movie a little bit. >> let's just-- let's just-- can we just admit that this is friggin' delicious? >> stephen: it is so good. ( laughter ) it is so good, i swear. >> you will not believe it. somebody at home is going to mom and dad's liquor closet and the breakfast pantry right now to give this a shot. >> stephen: you know, the baileys-- the baileys, the alcohol really cuts into the marshmallow. >> it does. >> stephen: the moons, the stars and the clovers and it mellows them out. >> and the blue elephants and the-- we're just going to go on and on. do you know what--
>> stephen: you know, it really shocked me when i tried it. >> i would love to have a pack of smokes right now, just sit back and really-- >> stephen: maybe a swisher sweet soaked in ether, or something like that. you'd have to-- maybe a swisher sweet wrapped in bacon. >> whatever that joke was supposed to be. ( laughter ) >> stephen: it's lost! ( cheers and applause ) it's lost to humanity. we don't know. >> it is as good as a completed line, my friend. >> stephen: i agree. speaking of a completed line, you say a lot of them in your movie, he said, transitioning, in segue. >> oh, wow. >> stephen: pretty smooth, huh? can i say one thing first, you just got a building named after you. >> i did. this is at wright state university. ( cheers and applause ) dayton, ohio. >> stephen: congratulations. >> no, it is a big deal. this is the, i never had my name on a building before. >> stephen: that's nice. >> i have had my photo, you know, as in "wanted." i have had that on some buildings. no, wright state university, they just opened it. it is a great honor. and to have your name on a building and knowing that, you know, people are going to go in there and learn the tenets of
film making, it's an exciting thing. >> stephen: there's going to be kids getting up, going "oh, i have a 9 a.m. over in hanks." >> that's what i am looking for. ( laughter ) because, okay, can we see that? you can't do an acronym, the t.h.c.f.m.p. that's not going to fly. so you just want those hungover college freshman to say "i got to get to hanks." what are you working on now? "i got to do some post production on a short film over in hanks." that's what you want. the hanks. and it's the only blue building on campus. so you can't, you can't miss-- >> stephen: really? any reason why it would be blue for you? >> it was part of the-- first of all, they said number one, it would be blue, with my name on it. >> stephen: they said. >> they said it will be blue. and secondly, there is also a three-bedroom condominium that goes along with it, that i can use any time i am in dayton, ohio. so i'm looking forward to it. >> stephen: seriously? that's really nice. >> oh, yeah, i'm going back, my friend. >> stephen: wow, it's all paying off now. finally, the career is paying off. ( laughter ) >> at last-- at last i've got some purchase to go along. respect. finally! ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: you've got-- your
new movie, because i really enjoyed this new movie of yours. it's called "a hologram for the king." >> "a hologram for the king." >> stephen: okay, you play an american businessman-salesman who has to go to saudi arabia to try to make a sale for an information technology over there. >> three dimensional holographic video conferencing system. >> stephen: and you are constantly faced with challenges of like, not being respected because you're not a local, nothing is prepared for you. >> no one shows up. >> stephen: the king is never there. >> they stick me in a tent. they drop me off, yeah. it's a disaster in every way, shape or form. >> stephen: and we have a clip right here. >> oh, let's look at the clip! >> stephen: of the challenges. >> yes, indeed. >> do you know why we're not in that building? >> well, maybe all the vendors are in here. and maybe we're just the first. >> kind of weird being out here. >> it is a brand new city. it's uncharted territory and we are the trail blazers. >> where are we supposed to eat? >> guys, come on! we are in the kingdom of saudi arabia. with the deserts and the camels and the sheikhs and the tents. >> oh my god.
are you okay? >> yeah, yeah. don't you know, they can only kill me with a golden bullet. ( cheers and applause ) >> that's me, that's very much the epitome of everything-- >> stephen: we have to take a quick break here. we'll be right back with more mr. tom hanks and lucky charms. ( cheers and applause ) ♪ what if we woke up one day and everything just stopped going wrong? no more accidents. no more fires. no more emergencies. no more bad anything. but in a world where things stopped going wrong, where would state farm be? right here. to help with college.
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( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: hey, welcome back, everybody. here with our friend tom hanks. now, just getting back for a second into this little center you got. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> stephen: that is a milestone in your career. what-- do you remember the first milestone, the thing where you went "okay, everything is going to be okay." >> i'm set? >> stephen: like, "i might be able to do this for a living?" >> like, i got it whipped? >> stephen: yeah. >> it was the moment i could afford to have my car repaired. ( laughter )
you know, if you-- >> stephen: not afford the car? not afford the car? afford repairs? >> well, it gets repaired-- like, okay, so you are driving the used car, right, that's been yours for awhile. and a red light comes on the dash that says "check voltage regulator." i don't know nothing about cars. but you know what that meant? bankruptcy, failure. ( laughter ) uh, destitution. >> stephen: that's how you were teetering, how thin the ice was? >> yeah, all of my life, as soon as i started driving, i lived in absolute total fear of the red light on the dash board. >> stephen: what would you do? >> i would wait until it would go off. i would hope, you know, if i can make it to corning, the red light might go off. i had a faulty regulator once and it was coming on and off. but then you get, you make some cash. you meet with some success. and guess what, red light on the dash board? i hope they all light up. how about that? ( laughter ) i hope they all-- >> stephen: bring it! >> alternator, voltage regulator. >> stephen: is that all you got! >> not only can i afford to fix this car, i can afford to have it towed from anywhere in america. ( laughter )
when that happened, i said, i'm going to be fine. i slept easy. >> stephen: what was your first car? >> my first car was a 1970 volkswagen bug. it was beige. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: beige?! >> beige. >> stephen: that is an exciting color for a young man about town. >> i was a wild man. i went to-- i went to shabow college, which was a junior college in oakland, in heyward, actually. i wanted to-- ( single cheer from audience ) god bless. i wanted to have a college sticker in my rear window, like other people who went to m.i.t. and kal. and they had stickers that say "shabow college." i didn't want them to know that i went to shabow, so i just cut shabow off and put college on the back of my car. which-- ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: as far as they knew, anything could have peeled off the top. >> oh, yeah, you know-- >> stephen: oxford college. >> i went to harvard college, you know, whatever. somewhere fun, back east. >> stephen: you made it now. you have made it now. you're at the top of your game, at the top of your profession. both you, but both you and i are
sort of-- >> we're doing good. >> stephen: we're doing good. we're top notch actors, you know, in a way. i'm an actor in my own way. >> oh, oh, okay, yeah. you fake stuff. >> stephen: you're an actor. >> yeah. yeah, exactly. >> stephen: you've got a bunch of oscars for your work. >> thank you. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: and i've got a bunch of emmys for my work, and-- >> bravo. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: they're basically, basically the same thing. >> no, they are not, sir. they are not. ( laughter ) >> stephen: they are the same. but those of us who have emmys, think they're the same thing. >> there is a big difference between the two, my friend. >> stephen: really? >> yeah, yeah, huge difference. >> stephen: well, the point is you have two oscars, so between the two of us that averages out to one oscar apiece. and it is rare that two actors of our caliber, you know, are together like this. >> that is true. >> stephen: i think we should take a moment right now, just for the aspiring actors out there watching this, we could offer acting tips to help them get up to our level. >> great idea. let's help the kids. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: okay, great. ( cheers and applause ) so let's go-- what? excuse me?
>> just to be clear-- just to be clear, we are on the same level? ( laughter ) >> stephen: you said it, tom. ( applause ) >> wait! that was a-- ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: great. >> it was a question. >> stephen: so all you amateur actors, listen up, because it's time for "on your mark, get set, act, with tom hanks and stephen colbert." ( cheers and applause ) >> first tip. crying scenes are tough. personally, onions make me cry, so when i have to cry, i think of a dead onion. ( laughter ) >> stephen: if you're having trouble inhabiting a character, just ask important character questions like, "what's my character's name?" "what is the movie about?" and "is my character in it?" ( laughter ) >> to keep your eyes from
shifting around, focus on just one object. unless your character needs to look shifty-- in which case, make sure that one object is a fly. ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: never work with children or animals. one exception, baby werewolves. box office gold. ( laughter ) >> never read bad reviews. instead, kidnap the critic at gunpoint. ( laughter ) i find they're much less likely to tell you "you suck," at gunpoint. ( applause ) >> stephen: all the best actors
know that emotions live in the arms. if you are scared, flail your arms around in terror. if you are sad, flail your arms around sadly. ( laughter ) >> if you are doing a love scene, make sure the director and the cameras are there. ( laughter ) ( cheers and applause ) otherwise, you're just having sex. ( laughter ) >> stephen: that's a rookie mistake. >> amateurs, yeah. >> stephen: the most important part of acting is listening. so always act like you're listening. tilt your head and say things like "hmmmm, yes, i understand, because i'm listening to you." >> sometimes it's hard to remember all those words.
and here's what you do. you get a dog and you name the dog "line." then you shave the words you're supposed to say into the side of the dog that the camera cannot see. then, if you forget what are you supposed to say, call "line!" he runs up to you, and you can read it right off the side of your dog. ( applause ) i learned that one from marlon brando. ( laughter ) he told me. >> stephen: well, tom, thanks so much. that was really-- ( cheers and applause ) >> yeah? >> stephen: line? ( laughter ) great advice. >> well, thank you-- thank you--
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♪ i-- i want to be in the room where it happens ♪ i-- i want to be in the room oooh-ooooh ♪ i want to be, i want to be in i've got to be ♪ i've got to be in the room the art of the compromise-- ♪ hold your nose and close your eyes ♪ >> stephen: please welcome leslie odom, jr. ( band playing ) ( cheers and applause ) nice to see you. >> you too! >> stephen: i can't believe i was able to score a ticket to interview you tonight. ( laughter )
>> anybody that introduces us at the grammies gets a ticket to the show, so. >> stephen: that's right, that was a great honor. i got to be the person that announced your category. that was incredible. what does it feel like to be part of theatrical history? like, be in something that is so culturally significant. because you can't go see it without going "i'm seeing something different, truly significant, truly beautiful." >> it is, you know, just a great joy of our lives to be a part of something that is-- you know, to do something this big that is actually art. it's just not something that you prepare for when you are, you know, singing. you prepare to do big movies. you prepare to do, maybe a big tv show if you are lucky. but to actually get to penetrate the consciousness like this in something that feels like great art, is-- we're very lucky. >> stephen: and you have an enormous variety, an incredible variety of people who have fallen in love with this work. and as somebody who would come backstage to say hi to you guys,
is there a pecking order as to who says hi first, when you go backstage? >> there kind of is. it happens-- >> stephen: because everybody wants to come back stage and say hi, just gush. >> it is funny, tom hanks was actually one of the very first influential people that came to see the show down at the public. >> stephen: we were just talking backstage, he said it was just a couple weeks into the run, when it first started. >> none of us really knew what we had. i mean, we believed in it but to have people like him, and spike lee, shonda rhimes, people coming and confirming that this thing was special, gave us a lot of confidence. we had, down at the public, there was one night where it was busta rhymes, salman rushdie and mandy patinkin. ( laughter ) >> stephen: that runs the gamut. that runs the gamut. >> it really did. >> stephen: who do you say hi to first? >> well, busta is big. so-- >> stephen: like big in your heart, or large person? >> both. >> stephen: well, you actually, you had one guest who came to the show a month ago. and this is-- it's prince, who
called it the best history class ever. >> yeah. >> stephen: what a beautiful thing to have an artist of his caliber-- ( applause ) what does that mean to you and the other members of the cast to hear that, even before the sad news of today, to know someone like prince who has been so influential, saw you doing something different? >> i mean it's-- it's humbling. and you know, we don't take it for granted at all. i remember that he had a private concert, we got invited the day of this private concert that he was going to give in harlem. we got invited-- it was a secret concert that he gave. he went at like 2:00 in the morning and he played until like 3:30 a.m. and so a bunch of the cast went down to see that and then he came the next night. he sat right in the box, with his shades on the whole time. but it meant the world to us. and then prince didn't come backstage. he wasn't big on stuff like that, but then we were all waiting to see, did he like it, did he care about it? and he sent that tweet, so we'll never forget stuff like that.
>> stephen: you play aaron burr in the production of "hamilton." who is, ostensibly, the bad guy. >> yeah. >> stephen: do you still see him as a bad guy? spoiler alert, he shoots hamilton. ( laughter ) >> eight shows a week, i feel bad about it every night. ( laughter ) but no, i don't. i think there are very few people that come to earth to be the incarnate of evil. there are a couple of people we can think of but most of us are just trying to do the best we can with the hand that we're given. and i think that that was burr. he lived-- he graduated from princeton at 16 years old. if you read his writings at 13, 14 years old, the writings of this kid, you know, it's astonishing. this was a brilliant man, a war hero, who kind of gets boiled down to the guy that shot hamilton. and what lin has done, what the show has done, is, it's forcing us to look at these guys with empathy. it's forcing us to look at somebody like thomas jefferson,
you know, in a little bit more of a complicated-- >> stephen: with not as much empathy. >> right. >> stephen: jefferson is not the good guy in this one. >> not in our show. daveed diggs is a good guy, but jefferson is not, yeah, he's not the greatest guy in our show. >> stephen: my favorite song in the musical is yours, which is "the room where it happens." which is an extraordinary song because your character is-- burr wants to be in a room where jefferson and madison and hamilton are making a deal about where the capital would be and where the banks in america will be. and you want to be in that room. and i feel like a lot of politicians today do not have a plan or something they want to achieve. they just want to be in the room. they just want the power to be there, to make a decision if there is one to make. that seems so resonant to our present political times. >> that might have been true of burr too. >> stephen: he really just wanted the power, not necessarily having a plan. >> yeah, i think that that was the major difference between him and hamilton. hamilton really had many, many
plans of how to make this a great country. and i don't think that was burr's strength, but yeah. >> stephen: now, you are married and you and your wife both sing. i saw something, a vine you guys put out recently. >> oh, yeah? >> stephen: this is, this is you and your wife. you come home, you've had a little something to drink. and you decided you're going to sing together. which a lot of people do. maybe just having fun. but not everybody sounds this good. can we show what you posted? ♪ fly away old glory. fly away. ♪ in the morning. when i die, hallelujah by-and-by ♪ ( cheers and applause ) >> completely wasted. we are toasty. >> stephen: toasty? >> oh, yeah, we're toasty. >> stephen: i wish i sounded that good when i wasn't. >> we're feeling good. >> stephen: please invite me to that next party.
>> bring on the lucky charms. ( laughter ) >> stephen: tom hanks took them. i'm sorry. >> okay. >> stephen: leslie, thanks so much. it was really lovely to have you. "hamilton" is on broadway at the richard rodgers theater. leslie odom, jr. we'll be right back. if you've ever been lured in straight talk. by a low price wireless plan then there's not enough high-speed data or your bill is packed with overages and mystery fees... stop falling for it! with straight talk's unlimited plan, you get america's largest, most dependable 4g lte networks. no contract, no tricks. and five gigs of high-speed data for just forty-five dollars a month. it's time to ask yourself... why haven't i switched? get a samsung galaxy s7 or bring your own phone. find out more at straighttalkswitch.com ♪
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captioning sponsored by cbs captioned by media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org ( band playing ) >> reggie: ♪ are you ready to have some fun ♪ feel the love tonight don't you worry about the usual ♪ crowd it will work out nice. it's "the late late show." ladies and gentlemen, all the way from africa, give it up for